Kevin Miller: Thanksgiving in Asadabad

Happy Thanksgiving Friends,

Or, as one of our day workers said, “Turkey Day Mobarak.” Mobarak (pronounced “mubarik”) is Pashto for holy or congratulations and Dari for blessed. You will be receiving a photo album link to pictures from our festivities today. I won’t bother with a separate narrative as this update covers everything pretty well.

I thought I would send out a special update for Thanksgiving. For anyone worried that we wouldn’t eat as well as we probably would at home with our families, you can put your worries aside. We had – as expected at Thanksgiving – way more food than we could eat and it was all excellent. Our menu included:
Turkey (of course, deep fried in peanut oil and done to perfection)
Baked Ham with and without Pineapple
Turkey Patties (I think someone was afraid there wouldn’t be enough of everything else so prepared these to be on the safe side)
Candied Sweet Potatoes
Stuffing
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Macaroni & Cheese with Pork Sausage
Corn Bread (mild and spicy) and Corn Bread Muffins w/Honey Butter
Jellied Cranberries
Green Bean Casserole topped with Chow Mein Noodles – one with bacon and one without
Corn on the Cob
Deviled Eggs
Dinner Rolls
Egg Nog
Spiced Apple Cider
Apple, Cherry, and Pecan Pies
Pear Tarts

The only thing missing was lefse – and since I was probably the only Norwegian there, I don’t think anyone else noticed. Food preparation actually began a couple days ago for some of the items and continued this morning with different people working on their specialties. The piece de resistance of course, was the turkey. There were some worried moments as the original plan for lowering the turkey into the hot oil on the grill proved to be unworkable. American military ingenuity came through, however, and the results were spectacular – a moist, flavorful, golden brown bird.

Once everything was ready, we gathered to say grace. Joining us for our Thanksgiving Dinner were several of the Afghan National Army soldiers from the base on which we are collocated. They seemed to really enjoy the food but had to be told which items were pork or contained pork as Muslims are not allowed to eat pork.

The food was great as was the weather. It was sunny and probably close to 80 degrees Fahrenheit. After dinner had settled a little, a bunch of us played volleyball – including some of the terps (volleyball is very popular in Afghanistan). It was a good group of people with whom to spend the day – not the same as being with our regular families, but while we are here this is our family. Of course, most people would think a holiday like this would make one homesick. It’s possible some of the people were homesick, but it wasn’t evident. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me the time difference is one thing that helps.

As we were sitting down to eat, it was the middle of the night at home – or, at least, very early in the morning. So as we were having Thanksgiving Dinner here, I knew I was not – at that moment – missing the gathering of family at home. By the time my family is sitting down to eat, I will probably be going to bed or close to it. So at that point, I may be thinking that it would be nice to be with them, but I will also be heading off to sleep. One thing of which I am pretty sure is that my family misses me more than I miss them. I don’t know if that’s true for all soldiers, but I believe it is for me.

It’s not because my life is better than theirs, because that is certainly not the case. However, I have really one primary mission on which to focus and my position keeps me very busy. So I don’t have a lot of time to dwell on my family and home and the things I’m missing (except as I’m writing this, I suppose, but this seems rather cathartic). On the other hand, my family is doing all the things they did when I was home – which means all the things we used to do together. So each routine thing they do is a reminder – at least to some degree – that I am not there. And of course, for my wife, she is responsible for all the things that that we used to share.

I am fortunate that my wife has many people reaching out to help with things, but there are many things that simply can’t be done by anyone else, and the stresses she experiences cannot be shared. Also, no one can step in and be a father for our two sons. While several people have taken our sons on outings and served as a male role model and friend of sorts, I sometimes think even that provides a reminder to the boys that Dad isn’t there to do this or that with them. I firmly believe that we will all be better people for this experience, but in the meantime it will be a real struggle.

So on this Thanksgiving day, I am thankful for my incredibly strong wife Katherine, our two very special sons Samuel and Matthew, my Mom and Dad who instilled in me the values that keep me centered (most of the time), my sister Roxanne who – along with her husband Kirk – showed what real strength is during their son Dan’s too short life, his medical conditions, and his eventual passing and for their daughter Megan and the time we did get to spend with Dan.

I am also thankful for my wife’s family. Though at times they can drive each other crazy (just as my family can drive each other crazy), they have provided great support and assistance, friendship and love while also working through their own challenges. And I am thankful for all the other family members and friends who have shown support in so many ways. I have truly been blessed in my life and hope I never take any of these many blessings for granted.

Finally, I am thankful that I live in a country that is truly free and provides the opportunities that we have. I am thankful that I have the ability and privilege to serve in the military in Afghanistan to help fulfill one of the responsibilities that comes with the freedom and opportunities – to help those in another country build their own democracy and develop similar opportunities. Of course, one of the most important aspects of the United States is the freedom we each have as individuals; so I am thankful that I can freely and openly express my faith in the God who has provided these many blessings.

In closing this special Thanksgiving Update, I ask for God’s blessings for each of you.

Thanksgiving Mobarak!!

Kevin
=